a response to a grieving community

Tue Feb 13 11:55:56 CST 2007

Dear People:

  I would like to add my support too for Manuela and Connie in their attempt to bring us closer to Clare at the end. I am also a bit perplexed at the issue being raised as it has been. I think we are dealing with unresolved personal and cultural issues about grief and death and not necessarily the issues of confidentiality here especially given Clare's words to the group at the time.  

  I have repeated in many contexts that the most powerful sessions that I and many others have conducted have been those dealing with the unresolved issues obtained when someone passes. It is so rare for these to be complete and to have the privilege, at times exquisitely painful at least at first of being present at the moment of passing.  When and if you are fortunate enough to be present at such a time and can remain vulnerable to what occurs as I have been able to do only on some rare occasions myself, things may occur that you have never and perhaps never will again experience that take you far beyond the considerations being discussed here. There is a spiritual realm that is far too often left out of the work we do and that is to all our detriment. 

  I suggest that each person who has been touched by this loss do a personal or perhaps shared with trusted others role play in which they are supported in playing Clare speaking to the PD community about her passing and the particular issue involved here. It is not necessary to share this with everyone and you may choose to do so.

  I have done so and was deeply moved by what came forward to me in terms of the openness that I felt and the deep caring for everyone Clare had touched and whose spirit and courage had touched her. In fact, I was supposed to have been there during that week and was unable to do so due to some personal commitments in regard to my family that came up along with other responsibilities at the time.  I was as I have previously said so deeply moved by the sharing that was sent to us by Connie and Manuela.  

  I hope that the love and caring that was and remains Clare's legacy will shine some warming light into this deeply personal issue and allow us to be healed where needed. Blessings, Bud

Adam Blatner <adam at blatner.com> wrote:
  I tend to support Manuela here. Warmly, Adam
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Manuela Maciel" 
To: 

Cc: 
Sent: Tuesday, February 13, 2007 6:52 AM
Subject: RE: a response to a grieving community

> Dear friends and Colleagues
> 
> I understand people`s feelings, good intentions and need to protect a
> beloved one but I can`t avoid feeling hurt, offended and sad that in such a
> sensitive moment we don`t show more tolerance and that I am accused in
> public of breaking boundaries, which I know that I didn`t , also as if we
> are talking about a patient and not of a good common friend, from whom I
> thought our common friends would like to know a little about my last few
> days with Clare. 
> This is something we do very often , this true "story telling" about a
> deceased one , when a community is grieving, at least in my country,
> Portugal. But maybe I was wrong with my good intentions of sharing with my
> friends ...
> 
> I would expect "our family" to be more holding and containing and not being
> judging and lesgislating how we express our feelings, specially in a
> cross-cultural context... 
> 
> Where is Moreno`s and Clare`s dream of compassion and peace for the World?!
> 
> With much love to our "psychodrama family".
> 
> Manuela Maciel
> -----Mensagem original-----
> De: list-bounces at grouptalkweb.org [mailto:list-bounces at grouptalkweb.org] Em
> nome de edwschreiber at earthlink.net
> Enviada: segunda-feira, 12 de Fevereiro de 2007 15:33
> Para: list at grouptalkweb.org
> Assunto: Re: a response to a grieving community
> 
> It's so interesting to be a part of this last few email exchanges.
> 
> We are like a big family and a smallish community.
> 
> We sometimes extend ourselves to one another,
> in our show of strength and passion.
> 
> And then when someone dies, like Clare,
> We reach further to one another
> in a kind of grace of spirit that moves us.
> 
> The Connie/Manuela emails have been so touching, for me
> for many I am sure.
> 
> Then Ann H. comes on and reminds us
> of the structures - sociometric and ethic - we must keep to.
> 
> Like a wise elder, Ann just keeps clarifying 
> our community. 
> 
> Sometimes I wish she would run for ASGPP President!
> 
> 
> Ed
> 
> Moreno Institute East
> 
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> 
> 
> 
> 
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> 
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Barnett J. Weiss, MA, LCSW
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