About Clare

Thu Feb 15 07:20:09 CST 2007

I also belong to a social workers discussion list that is similar to Grouptalk. Periodically someone wants to have feedback on a difficult or unsual situation with a client. The system we use on that list is that the message goes to the list owner who then sends the messsage to the whole list, without naming the practitioner, the city or town or anything else that might identify the client(s) in a specific way. I've posted a couple of questions on that list from time to time and the feedback has been very helpful.

I know this is not quite the same situation with Clare; however, Rebecca makes a very good point -- there are all kinds of people on this list, from TEP to someone who's just curious about psychodrama, maybe even former clients or trainees. I am sure there are many people on this list who never even knew Clare and haven't heard of Boughton Place.  Confidentiality is NOT possible, I believe, in these circumstances and for so many reasons. We don't know who will forward what to whom with a press of a key --and who will forward after that -- and the messages are also archived for anyone, including future Grouptalk subscribers, to review later.

Clare has served a very important, though quiet, role in our psychodrama community as faithful steward of Boughton Place, equally faithful keeper of the Moreno Stage and promoter of psychodrama, ecological conservation and social justice. It seems that her passing is now offering many of us to think about and talk about some important issues including the need for memorializing and honoring, the communication methods of these group lists, the possibility of hurt feelings, and confidentialty, and more.

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP
Companions In Healing

Lake House Health &  Learning Center
932 Lake Ave.
Racine, WI 53403

(262) 633-2645
karen at companionsinhealing.com <blocked::javascript:parent.ComposeTo('karen at companionsinhealing.com');> 

www.lakehousecenter.com <blocked::http://www.lakehousecenter.com/> 
http://LakeHouseRacine.blogspot.com <blocked::http://lakehouseracine.blogspot.com/> 
www.companionsinhealing.com <blocked::http://www.companionsinhealing.com/> 

________________________________

From: list-bounces at grouptalkweb.org [mailto:list-bounces at grouptalkweb.org] On Behalf Of HV Psychodrama
Sent: Wednesday, February 14, 2007 4:28 PM
To: connie at souldrama.com; list at grouptalkweb.org
Subject: Re: About Clare

Dear Connie,
  You bring up an interesting assumption when you write that our group list shares a confidentially among peers. First of all, I would not assume that all are peers as there may be trainers and trainees, grad students curious about the work, and lurkers of whom we know nothing. This is not a private listserve but open to anyone who wishes to be part of it. In fact, it really doesn't represent the psychodrama community but only the community of people who belong to grouptalk. 
    As for individual commitments to confidentiality...this list serve has been a place to share ideas and announcements, not the sort of things that I never thought needed to be kept confidential. Quite the contrary, I have brought many of the discussions to my training groups to further stimulate conversation. When I have written about my work, I have tried to avoid identifying details precisely exactly because I don't expect confidentiality.
   This internet thing is relatively new to us all. I would be curious to know if others see a list serve as a place to share confidential material. If so, don't we need to make a overt commitment to such confidentiality? So that everyone is on the same page about it. Or maybe we need to continue to assume that as this listserve it is NOT a confidential forum, and act accordingly. 
  What do people think?
Rebecca

	----- Original Message ----- 
	From: Connie Miller <mailto:connie at souldrama.com>  
	To: list at grouptalkweb.org 
	Sent: Wednesday, February 14, 2007 4:27 PM
	Subject: Re: About Clare

	Thank you Patti..if Clare had not requested that we help others to know her more and that she regretted being so private, we never would have shared what we did.  I also assume that our group list shares a confidentiality among peers.  Thanks
	-----Original Message-----
	From: PATRICIA DESERT [mailto:honeybwomn at msn.com]
	Sent: Wednesday, February 14, 2007 03:37 PM
	To: list at grouptalkweb.org
	Cc: iagp-psychodrama at yahoogroups.com
	Subject: Re: About Clare

	Dear Connie and Manuela--I am so sorry that you were hurt and felt offended by concerns around confidentiality.  You obviously were speaking from your hearts with your loving reflections on Clare's last days at Boughton.  You offered such a beautiful description of Clare's experiences and I never doubted that you both were coming from a loving place.  
	        Perhaps sensitivity to confidentiality regarding peer work may be a peculiarly American thing as Rebecca suggested.  I know during my years of psychodrama training that before every workshop, whether with peers or clients, everyone was asked to take a pledge of confidentiality.  That meant that we agreed to refrain from talking about what others did in the group.  That gave me a strong measure of security to open myself to the group and to do some very painful work as a student.  On the other hand, I lost a sense of trust and safety when I heard people talking about the experiences of others in a group without permission from those persons.  This got a bit triggered when I read your email about Clare's work.  
	        So I am very happy to know that Clare wanted you to share her experiences with us. I only knew Clare as a very private person who did not talk very much about herself.  I love that she wanted us to know her more, and I thank you for offering a beautiful memorial to Clare in such a gentle and loving community-wide way.  And I sincerely regret any hurt you felt as a result of my misunderstandings.  

	Patti Desert
	Baltimore, MD    

		----- Original Message ----- 
		From: Connie Miller <mailto:connie at souldrama.com>  
		To: list at grouptalkweb.org 
		Cc: iagp-psychodrama at yahoogroups.com 
		Sent: Tuesday, February 13, 2007 8:32 AM
		Subject: About Clare

		About Clare and to those who are involved in this discussion:

		One of Clare's last requests was that we help others really get to know her more on a personal level.  She realized how little we knew of her personally and wanted to share herself. I do not feel that we broke confiedentaillity or ethics by honoring her wishes. She was not a client but a good friend to all. I also want you to know that in the ceremony we included the entire psychodrama community and the love you shared and all the blessings that occurred on the stage that she so worked so hard to maintain. She watched the last Souldrama about building briges and peace.

		Tom, John  and Ann, I know you were honoring her and protecting her confidentiality our of love and respect. I know Clare would appreciate and love that.

		 More importantly I also know Clare spent her life trying to foster peace and goodness and the last thing she would want now is her community being in disagreement about a ceremony honoring her while she was alive. 

		 If we are to truly honor her, let us remember what she dedicated her life to and that was peace so let there be peace and love among us. 

		Connie Miller
		Grouptalk mailing list
		List at grouptalkweb.org
		http://grouptalkweb.org/mailman/listinfo/list_grouptalkweb.org

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