the pie chart

[Adam Blatner]

Great idea.
   I was just in correspondence with another fellow who uses diagrams of feedback loops, sort of related to the way they diagram roles in Australia & New Zealand. The whole idea of diagraming is often useful, from constructing a social atom diagram and talking about it -- as a useful way to build a treatment alliance as well as to clarify interpersonal dynamics-- and other things. Thank you Ann!
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Ann Hale 
  To: grouptalk 
  Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2007 2:50 PM
  Subject: the pie chart


  Over the years I have used the pie chart notion in problem-solving and lowering stress.  Maybe others use something similar, but I thought I'd mention it here, as a tipoff.

  A client was complaining about visits to the in-laws and how angry she got at the way her husband's parents interacted with her young son. She had discussed it with her husband but he dismissed it as a problem.  It had gotten so she disliked visiting them and made excuses to avoid those visits.  I suggested to her that she draw a pie chart, and mark how much she thought that she could tolerate, and what was the amount of spoiling and interfering that would begin to set her on edge.  She was surprised to see that she could take about 35 %.  Then I suggested that during the time she was with the inlaws that she enjoy herself, and not involve herself or stress about the situation until it had reached the 35% mark.  At that point she was to signal her husband and that he would agree to support a decision to leave.

  Well, it never reached the 35% mark, and she gave herself great strokes for being able to tolerate the situation. Her husbands support also eased the situation.

  Another friend loans small sums of money to a friend who has a low paying job and lots of "emergencies".  I suggested the pie chart.  How much money are you comfortable having out on loan to this person at any given time.  She made a pie chart, and then felt calmer about making small loans as long as they were in the ballpark.  Having a limit also gave her grounds for saying no and basing it on what she felt was a mark of "enough is enough".  She related that her relationship with this person had improved. And, when loans were repaid, the account could be tapped again.

  There are, of course, other issues surrounding these. However, I like the idea of reducing stress, and having a way to be conscious of what your limit actually is ina relationship/
  Ann Hale


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