The funeral of Leif-Dag (Daggis) Blomkvist

[Dr Kate Hudgins]

Dear Kate

I too thank you for the sharing.  It sounded like a perfect memorial  
for Daggis and his life.  I know him most from being on Zerka's 80th  
birthday cruise together 10 years ago and conference connections.  As  
Marc said he was truly a psychodrama genius and pioneer.  He will be  
truly missed and always remembered.

Thanks, Kate

Kate Hudgins, Ph.D, TEP
Therapeutic Spiral International, LLC

On Jun 15, 2007, at 7:30 AM, Connie Miller wrote:

> Dear Kate,
>
> Thank you for sharing this beautiful experience with us. It brought  
> tears to my eyes. I was truly moved and wish I could have been  
> there with you.  I  had the pleasure of sharing time with Lief -Dag  
> in the USA on more than a few occasions and I wish I could have had  
> more of that time.  I always looked forward to talking with him and  
> seeing him at our conferences. His presence is truly missed but his  
> soul and work will always stay alive. Thank you for sharing this  
> moment of love.
>
> Blessings, Connie Miller TEP USA
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Tauvon [mailto:tauvon at telia.com]
> Sent: Friday, June 15, 2007 12:41 AM
> To: 'grouptalk'
> Subject: The funeral of Leif-Dag (Daggis) Blomkvist
>
> Dear Friends,
> The funeral of Leif-Dag (Daggis) Blomkvist took place in Cologne on  
> Friday 25th May. He was born 14th September 1949 in Stockholm and  
> died 16th May 2007 in Cologne. The funeral ceremony was held at  
> Bestattungs- und Trauerhaus Müschenborn (funeral institute)  
> Mauritiussteinweg 110, 50676 Cologne.
> Between 1.00pm -2.00 people were able to communicate personally  
> with Daggis, who lay in an open coffin, surrounded by many  
> beautiful floral tributes. I was touched by the floral tribute from  
> Estonia brought by Kari and Vahur (I hope I spell their names  
> correctly) who laid a little wooden train engine by their flowers  
> to symbolise “the lost locomotive”. Indian music was playing softly  
> in the background. We were about 100 mourners.
> From 2.00pm to 3.30pm eulogies, mostly in German, were held,  
> firstly from Marc Treadwell, Daggis partner for 28 years. He spoke  
> of the real person Daggis with all his contrasting qualities. He  
> concluded his eulogy by reading Zerka’s poem to Dag published in  
> her “Love Songs to Life”.
> To Dag, June 20,1972
> No longer do I fear
> my many faces
> because
> since you are near
> they’ve left
> but traces.
>
> I look at them
> and ponder:
> why did I
> run from them?
> Now they’re all here
> I stare
> in silent wonder.
>
> I love you.
> There.
> It’s said
> and done.
> I need not hide
> from anyone.
> Savita Dawhan from India and Germany then spoke, followed by Hille  
> Heuer from Germany and Inara Erdmanis from Sweden and Latvia.
> Inara read another of Zerka’s poems:
> Let us meet
> in yesteryear,
> let us meet
> a year from here,
> let us love,
> or hate,
> or fear,
> but,
> let us meet.
> True psychodramatist as she is, Inara reversed roles with Daggis  
> and presented another of Zerka’s poems:
> In time the wounds may heal,
> I do not know.
> But now no smoothing words
> can salve the loss of love.
> Its pain sears through
> the very core of being.
> There is no joy,
> no laughter
> and no light.
> Does this, then,
> mean the end of life itself
> or merely a plateau,
> a resting place whence once again
> love is reborn?
>
> I do not trust
> my heart to know
> and wander wordlessly
> about its ashes,
> knowing only
> that the loneliness remains.
> Jesus, a good friend, then spoke. Eduardo Verdu from the Norwegian  
> Psychodrama Institute quoted and parodied Ibsen and Margaret from  
> Switzerland expressed her anger.
> The lid was then placed on the coffin and Holger, a lovely priest  
> from the hospital, spoke about coming home. In February, Marc was  
> terribly ill in hospital in Latvia and almost died. Daggis moved  
> heaven and earth to bring Marc home to Germany. Marc wanted also to  
> be able to bring Daggis home. Holger, who had loaned Marc his room  
> so he could sleep at the hospital during Daggis’ illness, spoke in  
> a beautiful and touching way about the many ways of coming home. He  
> spoke in German - I will receive his written eulogy soon and will  
> send it to you. (I’m sorry to be uncertain of the order of the  
> eulogies or if I have forgotten anyone.)
> Marc then played a piece of music, which had been their “theme  
> song”. Finally he directed the empty chair so, simultaneously,  
> everyone used a chair to quietly say his or her final farewell to  
> Daggis. The mourners then adjourned to Reissdorf am Hahnentor (old  
> Jagdhütte), Hahnenstrasse 24 for a buffet meal where we had the  
> opportunity to share thoughts and feelings together. Some of the  
> mourners had not met each other before, many lovely new  
> acquaintances were made and some had not met for many years so  
> enjoyed renewing old friendships. It was moving to hear of  
> psychodrama being used in so many different places in such good  
> ways. A surprise for me was to meet three people from the Stockholm  
> City Mission whom Daggis had led in supervision who are doing such  
> good work. I hope we will meet again in the future.
>
>
> The morning of the funeral I had my own process in my hotel room. I  
> had selected several pieces of music, which I played, and some  
> poems from Zerka’s “Love Songs to Life” (strange but not strange  
> really that Marc, Inara and I had all selected Zerka’s poems,  
> without having discussed it) and was trying to choose what I might  
> share at the funeral. I knew that Marc would read Zerka’s poem to  
> Dag. All the music felt fine between Daggis and I - he would  
> understand my selection, but all the music felt wrong to play at  
> the funeral. I couldn’t choose between the poems and it would take  
> too long to read all three! I’ll share them with you here:
>
> ?????????????
>
> Time is a stealthy thief,
> pursuing us on silent feet of silk.
> It robs us there,
> it robs us thus:
> the eternity of youth,
> the dreams of tomorrow,
> the grandeur of ourselves.
>
> But with this too, comes sometimes,
> wisdom,
> peace
> and joy
> of things that passed.
>
>                                                     ?????????????
>
> In life
> good friends
> are
> very rare.
> Love and
> friendship
> rarer still.
> Neither
> can be
> produced
> at
> will.
>
>
> ?????????????
> and
> Suffering takes many forms
> impossible to predict.
> For some it is in death,
> for others in life.
> Still others know only
> Life is unkind, lonely, bitter,
> troubled, hostile, fearful, endless.
> Many doubt there is a meaning.
> All question, sooner or later:
> Why me? What have I done to suffer so?
> Is this all there is?
> Yet, most of us
> find some reason,
> some joy,
> some happiness,
> some love,
> some peace.
>
>
> Actually I held my own good-bye ceremony with him that morning. At  
> the formal ceremony I said nothing! It was, as it was in life. I  
> could always share my real thoughts and feelings with Daggis - even  
> my strong criticism of some of his actions, but that didn’t work in  
> public. With me, as with some others, he could also privately share  
> aspects of his genuine self, his fears, putting himself into  
> question and his softness, which he could less easily take up in  
> public. Like many other people I have never laughed so much, as  
> with him and I really miss that. Laughing at absurdity. I also miss  
> our fiery theoretical debates and the inspiration I gained from all  
> the literature discussions we had.
>
> On Sunday 17th June, by which time hopefully the international  
> bureaucratic details will be resolved and Daggis’ ashes can be  
> retrieved, Marc will bring “Daggis” to Stockholm for a Memorial  
> Ceremony. Knowing that this would happen, many people from  
> Scandinavia and the Baltic States didn’t come to Cologne but will  
> come to Stockholm. For details concerning the Memorial Ceremony  
> Sunday 17th June 2007 in Stockholm please contact Inara Erdmanis  
> ina.erd at bredband.net
>
> With Warm Regards,   Kate Bradshaw Tauvon tauvon at telia.com
>
>
> Love Songs to Life   by Zerka   ISBN 0-932571-13-8
>
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Kate Hudgins, Ph.D., TEP

Clinical Psychologist
Director of Training
Therapeutic Spiral International, LLC
ww.therapeuticspiral.org
drkatetsi at mac.com



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