psychosocial development

[Ivo Banaco]

Adam,

I think it's virtually impossible not to judge, in a wide sense that you
describe. That's why I think it's useful to use the judgment/discernment
distinction. The first is some type of emotional discharge that indicates
that something could in fact be wrong with the object of judgment but also
with the person who judge. Like those extreme cases of witch-hunt (for
example for societies McCarthism, which existed during the era of senator
Joe McCarthy - could he possible had communist thoughts to, who don't! - or
in individual aspects like pedophile hunters, who we found out later
that some happen to be pedophile themselves). That's why I use such a
extreme statement in those cases "when we judge others we are exactly what
we judge – it is an astonishing psycho-mathematical process."

Discernment, in my understanding, is in fact also an evaluation of some
exterior (or interior) object, but by some possible definition it is more
clear, less touched by emotional aspects (although, of course they are
there). It simply don't bother us like in a judgemental effort. It doesn't
mean that discernment is a passive statement; on the contrary it is a
clearer or a more balanced our conscious judgment if you will.

For example, all the examples you gave that you considered to be judgments I
would call them discernments.


Ivo



On 4/2/08, Adam Blatner <ablatner at verizon.net> wrote:
>
>  Hi Ivo, thanks for your support, and I agree with some of your ideas, but
> I can't let the following go by:
>
>    I think it's Ivo saying: "...when we judge others we are exactly what
> we judge – it is an astonishing psycho-mathematical process."
>          AB: This strikes me as probably mistaken, though I may be
> mistaken (ha ha).
>     1. I judge people for smoking around me, I find them inconsiderate of
> the smells they're making me smell.
>     2. I judge people for playing very loud music, I find this a bit
> insensitive in some settings. It is not insensitive in settings in which
> most of the audience is there because the music is loud---then they are
> responding to the needs of those attending, and if I don't like it, it's
> okay that I leave.
>     3. I judge people for being in a role in which communications skills
> are needed---such as a telemarketer--- and they speak with such a thick
> dialect or mumble that I cannot understand them. I think that is mainly the
> fault of those who hire them, though. There's a slight judgment for people
> who seem to have no recognition that their speech habits may be inadequate
> for the job.
>
>         ... and so forth. So how is this... what Ivo says...      So if we
> judge acts or persons for being irrational, deeply we know that we too could
> act or do in the same way. But it is important to distinguish judgments from
> discernment. Ideally every psychotherapists should make discernment's about
> their clients…not judgments…(I will really appreciate if someone could
> develop more this point…)
>
>            or am I not clear on what it is that distinguishes judgment
> from discernment? Please offer clearer criteria.
>
>    Warmly, Adam
>
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