subtle oppression

[Adam Blatner]

Dear Colleagues, I've been thinking of the category of sublte oppression, mainly referring to the kinds of dynamics that make you shut down in group settings. (These may not be just group therapy settings; they can also be classes, workshops, seminars, conferences, or other contexts in which one norm is that the group is on the surface inviting participation and openness, but at the same time certain dynamics can operate so that it feels too bold, out-of-it, insensitive, presumptuous, or otherwise potentially isolating and/or drawing rejection should you dare to speak up about certain topics. 

     This email is an invitation to share anecdotes. 

     I've come up with a few categories that tend to make me want to not assert myself, though on occasion I force myself to go against my tendency or temptation and speak up. (I've sometimes been supported in doing so, and sometimes condemned.): 
          1. I can't understand what the other person is saying because s/he is speaking too fast, too softly, with too much of an accent or dialect, using too big or unfamiliar terms or vocabulary, and so forth. In trying to bring up the problem of understand-ability, I've at times been met with blame.
           2. Someone takes offense to what I say, which then makes it difficult in that escalated emotional context to seek clarification and make amends. Explanations are often perceived as trying to avoid responsibility when in fact they are seeking to find a way to work out the miscommunication.
           3. Feeling one has a minority opinion when the group is perceived to have a certain bias. (Example: In one group many years ago a protagonist was complaining about a vague memory of possible sexual abuse---this was when this complaint was seen as always to be believed. I asked, "Well, there seems to be some question whether this event actually happened." Caught a lot of flack.)
           4. ...and so forth. Does this evoke any associations?

     My goal is to identify the underlying patterns that stifle discourse and think of ways we can better keep people feeling safe enough to express themselves. Any further examples or ideas will be appreciated. Warmly, Adam Blatner
Adam Blatner, M.D.
   website: www.blatner.com/adam/   
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