Subtle oppression

[Adam Blatner]

fun thought. Its reciprocal: What could someone say that would turn me off? 
        I have been turned off by people overtly attacking me, calling me names, presuming to attribute their fantasies as my motivations, uncivil language... 
               But there are degrees of turn-off
        It's more intriguing if I do answer something that's provocative and see how the other person responds
                    Sometimes they irrationally escalate
                         Sometimes they may pause and inquire as to what my objections are about

             So there's a bit of how many times over the net (ping-pong metaphor) the ball goes... 

                      As to a position or saying something that's not well received... what might that be?

            Stuff that's outside of our arena for discussion, such as
                  Advertising tooth paste    
                      or content on the border of the boundaries.. 
           
                More problematic is the lack of any awareness that one is at the edge, no apologies, no questioning of the entitlement.. 

                        But even then, in general my own tendency is simply to inquire further and see how they answer... 

        I'll be interested to see how others answer Anath's question of what content would draw our rejection... 

       Warmly, adam
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: thana ag 
  To: REGINA SEWELL ; list at grouptalkweb.org 
  Sent: Friday, July 11, 2008 8:00 PM
  Subject: RE: Subtle oppression


  Adam,Ann,Regina,
  Hmmm. Very interesting.
  I just wonder how many on this  list serve feel oppressed by their  perception that  what they have  to say will be totally off according to the perceived expectations of what is acceptable. for these  discussions.  Would one of these presumably oppressed speak up,and help us "walk the talk"? How will we respond?!

  anath


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  From: sewell.2 at osu.edu
  To: list at grouptalkweb.org
  Date: Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:33:54 -0400
  Subject: Subtle oppression
  CC: ablatner at verizon.net

  Adam, Ann

  Hmmmm.... Interesting.  

  I tend to look at oppression and privilege as together...as connected dynamics....  you can't have oppression without some other body getting privilege...  even if they don't want that privilege...  Like, I get privilege by dent of being white and middle class even though I spend a lot of energy fighting to redistribute resources in a more egalitarian manner.... So this brings up an interesting group effect....  seeing the collective oppressing the individual.... oppressing individuality.... especially 1 and 3...    sort of like the Borg on Star Trek New Generation....  (they were a culture where conformity was mandatory.. all cogs in the social machine... happy cogs once they lost their individuality....  the words I remember  most... "Resistance [to becoming one of the cogs] is futile... very much like Moreno's ideas of Robotrons....  But who benefits?  The stability of the group... the "borg ness"?
            1. I can't understand what the other person is saying because s/he is speaking too fast, too softly, with too much of an accent or dialect, using too big or unfamiliar terms or vocabulary, and so forth. In trying to bring up the problem of understand-ability, I've at times been met with blame.
             2. Someone takes offense to what I say, which then makes it difficult in that escalated emotional context to seek clarification and make amends. Explanations are often perceived as trying to avoid responsibility when in fact they are seeking to find a way to work out the miscommunication.
             3. Feeling one has a minority opinion when the group is perceived to have a certain bias. (Example: In one group many years ago a protagonist was complaining about a vague memory of possible sexual abuse---this was when this complaint was seen as always to be believed. I asked, "Well, there seems to be some question whether this event actually happened." Caught a lot of flack.)
           
  I like Ann's application of the cannon of creativity and impact of sociometry on challenging that  "borgness"  ... it seems to me that this is the heart of social movements....  those lone deviants who first step forward and say, consciously or not, I won't take these social rules and defying them... perhaps paying the price of being shut down or rejected..., perhaps getting social applause..., 

  So the trick becomes creating groups or moving towards situations in groups on one hand and on another, finding ways to communicate in a way that others can "hear."

  peace,

  regina sewell, Ph.D.


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