Subtle Oppression

[Adam Blatner]

Hello Anne, 
     building on what I just said to Jan in the last email... 
            I sometimes fear that I have not responded adequately, or have seemed too glib. Your response reminds me of another problem in the realm of subtle oppression.

    A says x. B is bothered by what A says. If B feels that A should have known better, or A should have been more sensitive, it may be that B comes to believe that A will not be open to correction. 
       The communication of being open to correction is very important. 

           And yet sometimes I wonder, speaking for myself, if my repeated invitations are not believed because I have attained a higher status by dint of writing a book or speaking up a fair amount in the group or grouptalk listerve... This then would be a transference, a feeling that authorities don't want to be corrected... and a mistaken transference at that. 

     Inter-cultural problems may arise, also. Within a given culture, some signals that one is uncomfortable, offended, etc. may be accurately perceived and appropriately responded to, or some people come to expect. Cross-culturally, though, these signals get crossed.
      Example,  offering a snack, having it refused, and not then urging the guest to have it. This game of offering 3 times is widespread, but also there are cultures where it is rude not to take no for an answer, so misunderstandings occur. 

       I'm sorry that you have felt misunderstood or not adequately responded to. It's interesting also because you are such a prominent leader in the field, a true pioneer, and you merit considerable respect. 

          I apologize if I have been one of those who has inadvertently not responded adequately. 

         But in a general way, it brings up the question of what either inhibits or might encourage the person who feels inadequately respected, oppressed, victimized, etc., what factors affect the perception of the right or power to speak up and protest, to offer to correct the one who is perceived as not behaving optimally. 
            
        This problem of seeing that potential interventions might occur at several points in the system, were it diagramed, makes it interesting. 

         Warmly, Adam 
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Anne Ancelin Schutzenberger 
  To: list at grouptalkweb.org 
  Cc: Schutzenberger Anne ; AZAIS JPA Jean-Philippe 
  Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 6:24 PM
  Subject: Re:reaction to Anath & Anna Schaum -subtle opression / List Digest,Vol 25, Issue 18


  Re:reaction to Anath  Garber &  Anna Schaum <anna at annaschaum.com>,-subtle opression /  List Digest, Vol 25, Issue 18
  I have tried to suppress everything but "subtle oppression " below -  
             Dear Anath ... You want to know if others have felt "subtle opression" - I have- and have suffered many times also of not having a real answer or not beeing understood, or  misregarded,  or  treated (maltreated)  just as if I do not exist ...
      - even on this list sometimes also - - and many times in my long life -   - especially about what was most important for me-   like facts of my life - that were too surprizing  or too subtle to be understood when I answered direct questions asked to me 
   and   usually oppressive and hurting persons do not realize or understand what they do to others- and to me -  and their verbal talk is always grand humanistic understnding and they also often lecture to others about what they should do or think or how good and useful they themselves are to others
   ... hm =  ( "the left hand do not know what the right does" - as we say in French ) or "do as I say", notr as I do - not  as these teachers of others do -
                 -  but it hurts- and is a subtle opression 


  best of best    more later, if asked    anne (89 years old) PhD,TEP  
  and University professor of Psychology (emeritus)
  anne ancelin schutzenberger(France)
  ______ 
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://grouptalkweb.org/pipermail/list_grouptalkweb.org/attachments/20080716/6133e49b/attachment.html