subtle oppression717b

[Laure Gargano]

Hi Adam, 
Thanks for your reply, I will try to answer some of your questions - Yes I
am training with Rebecca and Judy - and enjoying them very much - as well as
my training peers!! Absolutely love them and Boughton Place!!



  {I am one who is prone to being "around" a group before I jump in. I like
to get a feel 
for what the "norms" are and how a group functions before I just jump in
(that is my 
general style).
            AB: This is common. But what about just asking questions? I
always feel wary 
about the conclusions folks come to based on their impressions. What if
you're even partly 
mistaken?  How do I encourage your asking openly? This isn't aimed at you,
particularly, 
but as I think about it, it is so common in human affairs, and I think it
might even be a 
subtle kind of oppression: How do I deal with your hypotheses about me if I
don't hear 
what they are and can correct them.
        Here's a wild example: After 32 years of very happy marriage, during
which time my 
wife Allee and I discuss most things rather thoroughly, enjoying that kind
of thing, yet 
something new came up. I was connecting with my priorities now that I'm
getting older and 
Allee found that she needed to re-work her schema or inner map of who she
thought I was 
and what my life was about. I deeply appreciated her willingness to listen
respectfully 
and her willingness to let go of ego attachements to her previous
formulation. I hope I 
can do likewise for her as we boost each other up the ladder of maturation
and insight.}
	Update - I fall prey often to the idea of experts/ teachers and
trainee/student. So in this arena I tend to be passive until I have
something to offer - or until I believe I understand the discussion topics~
then I start to take risks. This whole experience of "being seen" is new; so
I am still getting used to allowing others to see me ~~ However, get me
rolling with the inequity of insurance carriers; lengths of stay in
substance abuse treatment; confidentiality laws (in Pennsylvania) watch out!
Then I become a much more verbal person - boarding on aggressive depending
on which side of the fence someone falls towards. I spent the 8 years in
Utilization Management for a residential substance abuse treatment center -
and mastered the fine art of the shell game managed care companies play with
providers - and I often win(big grin).

     LG:  Subtle oppression is an interesting question - or subject for me.
I believe that 
there are a multitude of avenues that humans experience oppression;  from
the overt to the 
subtle. Being a social worker are my field of choice -  I work hard to
address oppressive 
behaviors in all areas of my life - and in my professional work. I find that
to be a large 
scale challenge - and frequently when I speak up on behalf of the
disenfranchised and 
oppressed I am generally met with resistance/dismissive attitudes of the
people that I 
encounter where I work.
        AB: this is fascinating: What kind of place do you work at? I am
truly interested 
in diagnosing this system and its interactions. What are the major jobs of
the others at 
your workplace?
       So, role reversing with the others who you think take a dismissive
attitude towards 
your speaking up... what's with that?   I can begin to imagine several
possible stances, 
all of which may be wrong. What a great sociodrama.
         1. They are wicked people.
         2. They are nice people, but entrenched in complacency and don't
want to think of 
larger system problems.
         3. What you present is overwhelming. Such as:
                 The world is very unfair to some people.
                        Doubling response. Sure, right. You're right. What
are we supposed 
to do about that?
          4. What are you, some kind of leftist communist pinko yellow-dog
bleeding heart 
tax-and-spend liberal?
               Help me out here, just warming up to why anyone would object
to your 
seemingly noble activity of speaking up on behalf of the oppressed...
Update(LG): Well, as I said I work in a residential treatment center - we
are a for profit private national network - owned by an investment firm. We
are a heavily vested "boys club" culture; and as long as revenue is good -
everything is good. However, my specific location has a 25 to 30% turnover
in staff annually, there are very few open discussions at the directorship
tier of management (second level to the regions top dog). My peers in the
directorship have individually close relationships- though no sense of team,
I used to think I was alone in that feeling - and Ihave been learning my
peers feel the same way. So I have been asking them how we can change it?
That involves risk - and so far my peers are not willing to take the risk.
To be fair - and in the interest of honesty ~ I have been here 15 years -
and have quite the reputation for pointing out the short comings - and
holding others accountable to a high standard of performance; sometimes
nicely and many times not so nicely. The past two years I have been in a
position to really effect change at the middle management and line staff
levels - and have recovered in many relationships from my ogre reputation
though only after I spent a month interviewing each and every staff member
regarding our relationship - and what I could do to improve how I worked
with them. (it was a very one sided conversation - though enlightening none
the less) I learned from the staff what they wanted they were not getting,
what they were getting that they did not want - and so the relationships
have improved tenfold.   The old boys club however, has prevented me from
implementing any real changes with the middle managers and line staff. There
are under currents of my peers who are after more power and authority - and
will sacrifice anyone who interferes. So, I have cultivated (and won over)
the systems CEO ~ he is an empathetic finance guy - and very interested in
mentoring and teaching to cultivate "leadership depth" - so I have been
taking advantage of his interests in this area - and using him as a resource
to problem solve location issues without "telling" on the staff at the site
who are creating the problems.  I get frustrated quickly when my peers
create problems that impact client care and the agency reputation -- and
these "leak" with the association "passion" ( I am described as passionate -
and I have grown to really dislike that word) anyway - I have high energy
and emotionalism connected my own and the agencies success -- and when I
cannot make head way of forward movement - then I shut down for a short
period - and look to how I can accomplish the improvements with the middle
managers and line staff rather than directives from the top -- and that has
been working until the last two weeks - when a peers was promoted ~ and I
still have very strong feelings about it ...... angry, jealous, the umm "I
have this list of accomplishments - and you promote HIM - the under
performer of the year??" so  I am stuck again .... and looking for new
challenges. (went to the ceo and told him I to talented to be stuck at a
desk - and so grossly under utilized - told him I want to do more) so we'll
what happens when he returns from vacation .... 

      LG  I find it difficult to have open conversations with others in my
work place as 
some peers are not as interested in the same level of self awareness as I
believe that I 
am with myself. I have come to believe that I need to know my own bias and
prejudices if I 
am to help others in any role I take with them. It is a daily challenge.
          AB: Thank you about recognizing your own needs to develop further 
insight---you're right, of course.
   So much in the way of consultation to professionals deals (or in the
semi-olden days 
did) with raising consciousness about countertransference, the therapists'
own blind 
spots.

     LG:  The subtle oppressive behaviors fall along gender lines,
socioeconomic lines and 
life skill lines. Some of this can also be spoken of in the language of
counter 
transference. Or as I am currently learning about sociometrically -
 "ghosts"(those non-present people I see in the present people I encounter).
           AB: yes. I'm getting lost without a few examples here. Are you
talking about 
yourself or others? Whose countertransferences?  or are they transferences.
Update LG: well my examples are long and detailed ~ so it's difficult to be
concise - In my work place - men are the primary group promoted (above
middle managers) the directorship that I am apart of keeps adding men to
group - and offers men the promotion opportunities rather than allowing
qualified interested parties to interview for new positions. Myself and two
of my female peers are equally qualified as the men - however new positions
are rarely opened to all -appointments are made rather than interview
processes -- and those who are "yes" men get the promotion - and those of
use interested in honest discussion are quieted as we get distanced from
opportunities. When I have spoken with peers about how they get their ideas
heard -- the women tell me they send "sentries" - which is just so
disheartening to hear! I on the other usually end up screaming and yelling
until I am heard - and the corrections made to keep a fair and honest
system. (I am sure I am leaving out some of my own stuff here too) 

   LG  The language of the ghosts has opened avenues for awareness and
understanding for 
myself in how I react/respond to people in my life. I am most curious to
continue to learn 
more about Sociometry and group dynamics through that language. (it's like I
have finally 
found a construct and language to articulate what I have been internally
experiencing for 
a long time).
         AB: That would be great, hearing about how you find any concepts in
sociometry to 
specifically address these issues. (Careful not to use generalities or
abstractions here, 
assuming we can fill in the gaps. We need the specific links thought out or
explicated.)
UPDATE LG: Well - I want to have a weeklong in-service with the CEO of the
east coast - and the two levels of management at my site. I have fantasies
about how to bring the under currents of issues (gender, racial, financial
inequities) to the surface through team building strategies - and
sociodramas and sociometric strategies. I want to find a way to give voice
to the fears/blocks that keep MY team from growing -- and blocking their own
creativity. There are so many talented clinicians - and their energies are
blocked by the insecurities (both financial and ridicule) their "resistance"
to change - and the demands of the environment we work in (private for
profit) I want to explore how our own individual wants interfere with the
growth of each other -- umm and I want to bring to the surface who the
sociometric stars are - I would like to see which managers trigger each
other in a positive/negative manner? I want to know more about who among the
team are naturally drawn to each other - and promote avenues to do what is
sometimes unnatural - reach out in ways to those team members that take
effort. So, I have all these curiosities about this group, and few resources
to introduce these ideas in a way that can be heard at this time. I suspect
I am getting closer as I get closer to other team members, and middle
managers. 
I was so close to securing the funding to bring two trainings to the
location - and then the first quarter came to a close, gas prices shot
through the roof - and funding for "specialized" training went out the
window. (I remain hopeful though - that I can at a minimum model for others
what options there are for self exploration, experiential techniques to work
with our clients -)

 LG  In this group - I have been reading posts, exploring attachments and
papers other 
members have  referenced - so I can learn more and understand the
discussions here. I want 
to learn more - and faster!! :-) though I suspect that training in this
method is a life 
long journey and self exploration. I will at some point get my "psychodrama"
legs as it 
were ..... and have many questions to ask and explore with you all. To this
point I have 
enjoyed the discussions and topics raised - and learning ...  Laure
          AB: Yes, as mentioned, it is indeed lifelong, and fun for those
who enjoy 
discovering ways in which perhaps they can revise their own inner maps
(schemata). Not fun 
for those any challenge to discovering their inner maps may be in need of
revision is 
experienced as a threat. Welcome to the process. We welcome your questions
as they emerge 
into explicit awareness.    warmy, adam 

Thank you for your questions Adam ~ I look forward to reading more of your
posts, too. 

Laure